LONGER NBA

        Many people ask me why I never became a sportswriter, since I obviously write, and I like sports. In fact, many of my family still think I mainly write about sports for a living when I have not written about them since high school. I did cover the Green Bay locker room for The Daily Breeze  for quotes from Vince Lombardi after the first Super Bowl game in 1967. One of my nephews saw me on TV, and I was thereafter ensconced in sportswriting lore – at least in my family.
       The truth is that I didn’t become a sportswriter because it didn’t seem like work. How could I explain to my mother that I was making a living by going to football, basketball and baseball games? I already did that. The truth is that I couldn’t imagine being paid to write about sports. It would be too much fun. So I opted to go to movies, plays and concerts for a living. Now, that’s really tough, huh?

            This is all a prelude to another column about basketball. However, I have no choice. The NBA needs me – not to play, of course. I have been a pro basketball fan since about 1950. I even saw George Mikan play – on TV, of course. I have seen almost all the greats play live from Bill Russell and Bob Cousy, to Wilt Chamberlain and John Havlicek to Jerry West and Elgin Baylor up to Shaq, Kobe, Fish and Pao. (I’m not sure if the latter four are menu items or Laker players.)

            So what? The first two weeks of the NBA season have been canceled, and a fan like I should be in tears, right? Wrong. I don’t care if they wipe out the entire NBA. Let these guys sell shirts for a living at Sears instead of playing hoops for 90 zillion dollars. I am a basketball fan. I would be perfectly content going to high school and college games or just watching them on TV. I’ll watch biddy basketball, for Pete’s sake.

            The basketball billionaires are fighting over mainly how to split BRI (that’s basketball related income), which is everything from tickets and television to parking and concessions. This is in addition to their regular salary! The players used to get 57 %. The owners want to give them 47 %. The players - bless their generous hearts – are willing to settle for 53 %. No deal. Are they crazy?

         Luke Walton (one of my favorite players by the way), made $5 million last year for averaging 1.7 points, 1.2 rebounds and 1.1 assists. Now I realize that he was injured, and he actually is worth a lot, but, Luke, miboy, not $5 million, not even if you averaged 10 points, 10 rebounds and 10 assists.

            The main fault of this impasse belongs to the owners, with the players running a close second and the fans a distant third. Why the fans? Because we have been stupid enough to go the games, buy hot dogs and beer and watch the teams on TV.

            The owners have always bid for players’ services. But then some owner decided to pay a ridiculous salary, and the race was on. Owners had to match or best salaries to land players. And players, of course, have been greedy enough to take what was offered. Of course, greedy agents don’t help.

            What is the solution? When the lockout ends, the fans should go on strike and not watch games on TV or attend them in person until the league is revamped entirely. Start over. The league should return only under the following conditions.

            The coaches of the teams rank the league’s  450 players. You take the top 30 guards and put their names in a hat. Each team, in alphabetical order, draws the name of one player. So each team will get one of the top 30 guards in the league. Then do the same for 30 forwards and 30 centers. (It can be arranged to select twice as many forwards and guards as centers.) Then go to the second round. The team that selected last always goes first in the next round. This goes on for 5 rounds until all the players are taken. After the teams are selected, the owner, general manager and coach give each of the player a rating from 1 to 15.They are paid according to their rating. The salaries (negotiable when setting the rules) follow: No. 1: $10 million. 2. $8 million. 3. $7 million. 4. $6 million. 5. $5 million. 6. $4 million. 7. $3 million. 8. $2 million. 9. $1 million. 10. $900,000. 11, $800,000 12. $700,000. 13. $600,000. 14. $500,000. 15. $400,000.

            The three would have decide how to allocate their money to come up with what the team can afford. The Lakers current roster would go like this in my opinion.

1.      Kobe Bryant, Paul Gasol.: $10 million.

3.      Andre Bynum , Lamar Odom and Metta World Peace. $7 million.

5.      Matt Barnes, Derek Fisher. $5 million.

             8. Steve Blake, Shannon Brown and Luke Walton. $2 million.

 15. Derrrick Caracter, Devin Ebanks, Theo Ratliff and Joe Smith.  $400,000 each. The total salary would be about $56 million compared to $91 million now.

            So Kobe takes a salary cut of $14 million. Do you think he can get by on $10 million? Or would he rather sell shirts at Sears for $30,000 a year if he is lucky? Players still get rewarded for being the cream of the crop. You sit on a bench and make $400,000. You kidding me? Why do that when you can teach school for $40,000?

            So what about the owners. Do they get to clean up? You kidding?

Ticket prices, not counting luxury boxes which they can determine themselves, should range from $10 to about $60. Concessions: $4 for a large beer, $2.50 for a hot dog, $4 with one with onions, peppers etc. Peanuts: $1.50. Large soda: $2.50 tops.  Parking lots can charge what they can get.

            Who comes out on top? The fans? Who comes out still smelling like millionaires? The players. Who comes out smelling like multi-millionaires? The owners.

            Who’s happy? Everybody.  End of story. Except for one thing..

            Nobody will go for it because this is America, and this little scheme makes too much sense and stymies free enterprise.