Teams I Love to Hate

I hate the San Francisco Giants.

There. I went and said it in writing. These are dangerous words these days, but I am just trying to show that antipathy of a sports team does not mean one has a desire to kill or maim a fan or member of that team. The thugs who did so at Dodger Stadium were not ordinary baseball fans; they were criminals. And the reaction of fans in both Northern and Southern California to help the injured man’s family is more than commendable. One must remember that if there were no opposing teams to play – or to hate – there would be no sports.

 “Hate” just means, in my case anyway, the hope that the object of my dis-affection loses every game the team plays – big. I don’t pray for anyone to get hurt or to lose their job or get hit by a bus. I may not even mean that I dislike every member of a team. In the case of the Giants, I admired Willie Mays immensely and currently Tim Lincecum and ….. Sorry, Giant fans, that’s about it. 

But for all you people who do not really understand sports fan(atics’) love for their team and hatred of others, I wish to fill that void.  I have incredibly good reasons behind every team I love to loathe. So, for your immense enjoyment, I wish to share with you the top 15 teams I love to despise and my reasons for that disenchantment. I will royally tee off some readers. That’s okay. The keeper of this space, Josh Grossberg, has my e-mail to forward any of your disgusting comments. You will see that all my reasons make perfect sense. I am not a petty individual who holds grudges.

15. I will never forgive the Philadelphia Phillies for beating the Dodgers in 1950 when the Bums were superior in every way to the Whiz Kids. Can I help it that the Phillies won more games?

         14. The Baltimore Orioles had the temerity to beat the Los Angeles Dodgers and Sandy Koufax (6-0) in the second game of the 1966 World  Series and went on to win four straight games, allowing only four runs to tie the Dodgers’ massacre of the Yankees in 1963. What gall!

13.  Why should Dallas Cowboys be America’s team? They, pardon me, suck. The only Cowboys I ever liked were quarterback Roger Staubach and Roy Rogers.

12. My hatred of the Texas Longhorns is based on that stupid two-fingered salute; “Hook’em horns, hook’em.”  That’s almost as bad a symbol as the Trojan horse. Now, is that unreasonable?

11. I won’t reveal my Colorado Buffaloes record against the hated Oklahoma Sooners because it is too embarassing. I will always relish the 7-0 win, maybe the first ever by the Buffs, in 1960 at Boulder, which I witnessed in person. That does not raise my esteem of Oklahoma whom Sooners or later we will beat.

10.  I don’t really hate the St. Louis Rams, but I hate the fact thatGeorgia  Frontiere inherited 70 % of the franchise instead of Carroll Rosenbloom’s son Steve. Georgia’s gone now, but she stole the team and moved them out of L.A.  Boo. Hiss.

9. The Detroit Pistons Bad Boys team still makes me see red. How they ever lucked out to beat the L.A. Lakers with Magic, Kareem and James Worthy is beyond my comprehension. They had the nerve to beat the Lakes in four straight in 1989 when Kareem was old, and they won in 1989 because Kareem had retired.  Sheer luck.

8.,7., 6. and 5. I devote to the state of Florida. No. 8 to the Miami Hurricanes. I’ll never forgive the Hurricanes for a 58-7 drubbing of Notre Dame in 1985. No. 7. Florida Gators and No. 6 Florida State Seminoles. I just don’t like Florida and Florida State.  No.5. the Miami Heat. I hold LeBron James in deep contempt for abandoning Cleveland, and also Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh for trying to upset the balance of the NBA. (They haven’t done it yet). See? I have excellent reasons.

4. I regard the New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants with the same loathing. They share the responsibility for the two most disappointing losses in Dodger history. In 1951, the Dodgers had a 13-game lead on the Giants in August and blew the pennant in the final playoff game to Bobby Thomson’s three-run (lucky) homer. The Dodgers were far superior, of course. And then in 1962, when Sandy Koufax went down with the famous circulatory ailment in his fingers, the Giants caught the Dodgers and beat them in a three-game playoff. I will hold this hatred forever in my heart.

3. Next comes the Nebraska Cornhuskers, who used to upset my alma mater, the Golden Buffaloes, even before the Huskers became good in the early 1960s. I was born a mile from the Nebraska line, and the Huskers are certainly candidates for the No. 1 spot. Their record against the Buffs is 49-18-2. Now that’s really sick. Do I have a good reason to hate or not?

2. Second on my list is my beloved University of Southern California Trojans football team because: (1) the fans are so obnoxious when they beat Notre Dame (unlike the Irish, of course, who are angels.) (2) Los Angeles newspapers devote six to 10 stories to them every time they play a football game (even when they are bad), so the papers don’t have much space to devote to other teams (like the Irish, for instance). (3) They always think they are so hot, especially the last couple of years, when they were mediocre. (Heh, heh. Boy, did I love it.) (4) I hate that stupid horse. See, I told you I had really good reasons. P.S.  Notre Dame has a 43-33 lifetime edge with five ties.

1. And, finally, the number one position for all time and ever more (I see no chance to redeem themselves) is the hated, dare I say the word, New York Yankees. If they never win another game, I would not feel sorry for them. I will never forget their mistreatment of my beloved Brooklyn Dodgers in the World Series in 1941, 1947, 1949, 1952, 1953, and 1956, not to mention the L.A. Dodgers in 1977 and 1978. Everyone knows that the Brooklyn Dodgers in the 1950s had the best baseball team in history, and the Yankees were lucky.  Those schmucks, those rotten…I am getting carried away.

See how clear this is? You now definitely know how fans can hate certain teams and why the hostility  – at least mine – is totally justified.